Running through the tears…

I had a good walk/run today despite the unbelievable humidity. But in typical fashion, the run part of my efforts turned into me into a blubbering, teary-eyed mess. I am not sure why, but it’s more common than not for me to cry when I run. I am not a pretty runner or even a good runner, but it’s certainly not physical pain prompting my tears.

Between the endorphins that are kicking and just the release I feel in being outside and taking time for myself, I start really thinking about my dad, and on come the tears.

I miss my dad and wish so much that I could talk to him and see him and hug him. I think of him many times, every day, but I am so busy that those thoughts and memories, sadly, tend to get pushed aside in the craziness of my day. But when I am running and I have the miracle of an off-switch for the work stress and more that floods my mind daily, the thoughts of my dad fill my heart and mind.

I am okay with the tears and the thoughts I have of him durning my run. But it sure makes it tricky to see some times. By the time I am done, I am totally d-o-n-e. Worn out and exhausted. I have always said that walking is my therapy and good for my mental health, and for the depression tendencies I naturally have. I believe that even more after I’ve had a good cry, running through the park. I need that time that I take for myself, tears, thoughts of my dad, and all.


About thiscrazylifeofmine

I am a 40-year old wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, friend, and dog-mom. I love running, walking, scrapbooking, reading, TV, Weight Watchers, spending time with the family, and being at home.

Posted on July 13, 2011, in Daddy, depression, memories, miss you, running, stress, walk. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Thanks Joanna – that was a tough one to write but I'm glad I did.

  2. I totally get you on this one. Although, my crying is a little more theraputically negative.

    My running time usually turns in to me thinking about not finding a job, stressing, questioning myself… and on come the tears.

    I end up feeling better once I'm finished – but I haven't been running in a while cause it's so dangerously hot outside.

    Maybe that's just an excuse. Maybe I'd feel so much better if I just sucked it up – and faced the heat and went for a walk, at least.

    Thanks for this – definitely food for thought. 🙂

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