Confusion

I am confused. If you were to ask my hubby, he would tell you this is nothing new. And he’s right. I think-and-overthink things constantly and confuse myself even more. I don’t know why I do it, but it’s part of who I am. You should be so glad you are not me.

What am I confused about, you ask? It’s simple really. I don’t know if I want to stay on Weight Watchers. It’s many reasons, not just one. I guess the best thing to do is make a list of whys and why-nots.

Why I want to stay on WW…

  • I need the accountability.
  • I enjoy the WW philosophy and the resources they offer.
  • I like the structure it gives me.
  • I like the celebration of it when it is working.
  • I like, no LOVE, the idea of making Lifetime again.

Why I don’t want to stay on WW…

  • It’s not cheap. Whether I pay weekly or save money with the monthly pass, it’s still an expense that I have a hard time justifying these days.
  • I don’t like the structure it gives me. Ha! How can I both like and not like this??
  • It can be hard to get to the meetings. When I don’t go, I feel guilty.
  • I want to be able to eat what I want and not think about how many points it is.
  • Tracking can be a chore sometimes.

See? I’m confused. I like the structure it gives me because I know how I am and I need that. But I don’t like the structure it gives me because I want to enjoy foods without having to calculate it first. And I’m not talking about junk food and food that’s bad for me. I’m just talking about food in general.

On several of the blogs I follow, the bloggers do not specifically diet or follow a  certain food plan. Now, I will say that I do not consider WW to be a diet, because you can eat whatever you want if you plan accordingly. It is a way of life. That’s not the issue. My problem is I’m 40 years old and for probably 20 of those 40 years, I’ve either been on a diet or some sort of food plan to lose weight. Frankly, I’m tired of thinking about it. Does that mean I can eat anything and everything? By all means, NO. The way I am made and how I think and my emotional eating habits, I know I have to be very mindful of what I’m eating. But you know what? Life is too short to always be thinking about what foods I shouldn’t eat. Seriously. 

In what I would consider to be a perfect little food world for myself, I would focus on eating the things that I know are good for me, and that I love for most of the time. Fish, fruits, veggies, and more. It’s no secret that I love to try new things and to cook delicious meals. Why do I have to go and ruin it by tracking the points and weighing in once a week? But do I have the will power to do it on my own? I haven’t before and that is what scares me.

I haven’t been to WW in 3 weeks now. Life has gotten in the way. All I have are excuses. But this has prompted me to think about this. When I don’t go to WW, I feel guilty. Why do I do that to myself? I hate putting myself in a position to where I feel guilty for not doing something. Like I don’t already have enough to worry about. (See? You should be SO glad you are not me….)

I’m being a little dramatic here, because I really do love WW. I could even change my mind in a few weeks and go running back to WW with my head down, ready to confess all my eating sins. But that’s what this is all about, right? Finding what works for each one of us. Maybe I can’t be that person who is just mindful about what they eat. Or maybe I can be. How will I ever know if I don’t try?

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About thiscrazylifeofmine

I am a 40-year old wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, friend, and dog-mom. I love running, walking, scrapbooking, reading, TV, Weight Watchers, spending time with the family, and being at home.

Posted on April 26, 2012, in food, points, will power, WW and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I know lots of people that are having or had the same dilema when it comes to WW. Anything related to calculating and counting calories never works for me – NEVER!

    Recently, I started eating clean. For the first time in a very long time, I actually feel like I can make it work. I don’t have to count calories or log anything. I just eat food that’s naturally made. I can also eat as clean as I want – meaning if I have something that’s not clean, it’s not a big deal… I just eat cleaner the next day. For some reason I don’t feel like I’m being deprived of anything – even though I am in a way. I just think the power I have to eat clean is working for me. I just hope it lasts.

    Whatever you decide it will be the right decision – because it’s what you feel is right…and that’s the most important thing.

  2. Good luck with whatever you decide! It’s good to weigh the pros and cons like you did. I guess right now you have to decide if can succeed without formally being enrolled? Could you still follow the plan knowing what you know now? The accountability is definitely nice but you can get that from a lot of places.

    Have a wonderful Thursday!

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