Category Archives: choices

True Confessions Tuesday

It has been a long time since I’ve done a True Confessions post, since April 10, to be exact. Which means, I have A LOT to confess to! Let’s start with these…

  • I CONFESS I have just gotten back into what I hope is a regular routine for working out. I don’t know why I let myself slip so badly. Despite the guilt I feel in not doing it, it still isn’t enough sometimes to get me moving again. I wish I could figure it out.
  • I CONFESS I need to make changes to my eating as well. Some aspects of it are good – I’m drinking a lot of water and eating a lot of fruits and veggies. My biggest downfall is portion control. I am still trying to be that person who doesn’t have to be on a “diet” or specific weight loss program. Clearly that isn’t working for me, but I am determined to somehow figure out a happy medium and make better choices.
  • I CONFESS that I am highly frustrated with myself and my lack of motivation over the last several months. I set a goal for myself to log 600 miles on dailymile running and walking for the year and I am WAY off where I should be at this point. But beating myself up over it isn’t going to help it, so I just need to keep it up and make up for lost time.
  • I CONFESS that I am not a fan of riding a bike, I really just DON’T like it. But, I have been thinking about it lately, that it may be good to add to my routine. And I’m not sure what I think will be different about it this time than in the past. I can walk for hours and not feel winded or out of shape, but if I ride a bike for 15 minutes, I’m done. And I hate that.
  • I CONFESS that I have gotten lost in my brain far too many times this past week. I get anxious at times and then I start to think things and it’s a downward spiral from there and before I know it, I’m lost in my brain. It’s the reason I wrote the letter to myself on Sunday. I have to dig myself out before I am too far gone sometimes. It’s best for my overall wellness.

 Yep, no shortage of confessions in my world today. I hope that saying these out loud (so to speak) will help keep me a little more accountable to myself.

A Letter To Myself

Dear me,

You are a wonderful person and you are stronger than you know. You take care of those you love and you do the best that you can in everything you do.

So then, why do you doubt yourself? Why do you feel like you can always do more or do better? Why do you feel so fragile? You cannot let fear and your insecurities get the best of you. You must not focus on the negatives, but rather direct that energy to all the positives in your life. Letting the negatives get the best of you only sends your fragile state of mind reeling. 

You know how good you feel when you do something for yourself, when you put yourself first. You seem to fall into the trap of not taking care of yourself when you are stressed out. There will always be something stressful going on, you have to decide how best to manage that stress and not let it get the best of you.

Yesterday, you made the decision to go for a walk and that walk turned into running. You ran when you felt like it and walked when you needed to. After not running for far too many weeks, you did pretty good despite the heat. You should not be so hard on yourself and just enjoy the moment.

Do you remember how you felt when you ran your first half-marathon? You felt like you could do anything – and you can. You have the ability to accomplish anything you set your mind to. It’s the reason you signed up for another half-marathon, to feel that enormous sense of accomplishment in completing something you never thought you would do.

If you are not happy about how you feel or how you look, YOU are the only one who can do something about it, YOU are the only one who can make the right choices and change. You’ve done it before, you can do it again.

Life is too short to be stressed out about things. You cannot control everything and there is no sense in worrying about the things that you know are out of your control. Focus on YOURSELF and the rest will fall into place.

Love,

Yourself

Start-Over Sunday

Finally, after a week since my last run, I got one in this morning. Time was a luxury that I just did not have this week and with the time change, the sun was coming up too late for me to squeeze a run in before work. This morning’s run was a reminder of how much I enjoy running in the morning, the beautiful sun, the rested feeling I have instead of the tired, dragging feeling I have after work, and the sound of the birds at the park. As I expect this week to be the same as last and expect there will not be a lot of running time, I made sure to enjoy every minute of this one.

 

 

 

 

This never gets old...

 

I have some paperwork to do today from last week, laundry, making slow cooker chicken for dinner, please-oh-please let there be time to read and take a nap, and I am going to get my snacks ready for the week. The more prepared I am for the week, the better I will be in rushed situations. The last couple of weeks, I have let my busy days influence my eating and it has not been the best.

So, I am considering this to be “Start-Over Sunday“. Drink more water, get back to healthy choices for my snacks, more protein and less carbs, be more accountable for my actions, track everything I eat, and to quit making excuses. If I can attempt to do this now, before tomorrow and the craziness of the week ahead, I may have a fighting chance.

How do you use your Sunday to prepare for the week ahead?

Just breathe…

What a week this has been. It’s been busy, crazy, overwhelming, and I was not at my best when I caved into the evilness of the Pizza Hut Dinner Box on Monday. I still say it was DE-LISH but it has had me stressing over my weigh-in this week.

This morning was my weigh-in and my moment of truth. Let me start by saying that I wasn’t as fearful of the scale this morning as I was earlier in the week when thinking about it. I own everything I do and eat, so there is no one to blame but myself for a gain. I am accountable for anything I do. And a gain this week would CLEARLY have been from the evil pizza/breadsticks/cinamonn sticks.  There are times when the thought of seeing a gain due to a really bad meal will stop me from that meal, it’s enough for me to make better choices. There are times when I just don’t care, or I care less at that moment.

With that said, I weighed in this morning at the EXACT same weight as last week. I maintained. And I couldn’t be happier about it. Whew!

Yesterday was a hard day. Without getting into it just now, just know that had it not been the day before weigh-in, I would have eaten everything in site and probably would have thrown in a few drinks as well. Somehow this morning’s weigh-in outweighed (no pun intended) the emotional eating that I could have very easily given into. That’s my thing, emotional eating. Stressed, upset, scared, hurt, you name it – it sends me straight to the nearest food or snack or drink that is bad for me.

Today starts a new week, with new choices to make. I’ve already indulged in a McD’s lunch because I have the extra points for it, and that’s what they’re there for. It’s all a balance of not depriving myself and choosing what to have and if it’s worth the consequences. Today it’s worth it.

Just breathe will be my mantra today and in the coming days.

What a great tattoo!

So far so good!

Today is my 4th day back on WW. I jumped back in with both feet and I’m feeling really good about it, glad I finally made the decision to go back, even if it meant going to a different location to fit it in.

Thursday, the day I re-joined, I came in right at my daily points without much planning. Friday was a little more challenging as we went out for lunch and dinner. I planned ahead for both and was  very proud of myself. Jason’s Deli for lunch meant I could easily have a half of a turkey sandwich on wheat with mustard, lettuce, tomato, and avocado. it came with a small side of blue tortilla chips and salsa. Very filling. We went to Chili’s for dinner and I didn’t have any chips and salsa. Not. One. This is so freaking hard for me because endless chips and salsa are one of my most favorite things but I decided it wasn’t worth it. Much different than the ones I had at lunch which weren’t greasy and there was a set amount on my plate. I knew if I took one chip at dinner, I was done. I went into my weekly  points for the Margarita Grilled Chicken I had with black beans and rice but it was well worth it, and I didn’t eat every single bite. I stopped when I was full.

Saturday after walking 9.34 miles I was pretty hungry, but amazingly didn’t eat all my points for the day. We went to Jimmy John’s for lunch, I knew I could have one of their Unwich lettuce wraps for hardly any points. IT WAS SO GOOD!!! So many things I want to try there and if I go the Unwich route, not many points at all for such a filling meal. For dinner I made tilapia with zucchini and tomatoes. Great day for good food, not once feeling deprived.

This morning, I had my first Starbucks in several days and boy was it worth the 3 points. I went to the store and stocked up on goodies to make a Cheesy Chili Mac and Mustard Vinaigrette dressing that I got from WW. I also planned ahead for meals, lunches, and snacks for the week. I love being prepared, it makes it so much easier. I am still on point for today.

I am feeling very empowered and proud of myself for doing this, and falling back into it so smoothly. I know the program works, I just need to take it one day at a time, and plan ahead. This is the biggest thing for me when I am so busy during the week. The more healthy choices I have, the less likely I will be to fall into the trap of eating anything – and everything – around me. I love that there are so many options for eating out and that I don’t ever have to feel deprived of enjoying delicious food just because I am trying to be healthier.

I hope you all have a fabulous week!

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Today’s post will focus on the good, the bad, and the ugly of the last few days, in no particular order.

The good…. I walked this morning, at the park. I ignored the rain clouds looming over head and headed out. I walked, didn’t run. I didn’t set my tracker for a 5K, I just set it to basic and off I went. I walked for 1 hour and 24 seconds, 3.57 miles. I walked just to walk – not to beat my previous times, not to break any records. I just walked. And it was great. Rain and all. I don’t know why I couldn’t get my butt out there these last couple of weeks when it becomes so apparent how much I enjoy it the minute I start walking.
(note to self: come back often and read this post to remind yourself how important walking is no matter what kind of funk you are in.)

The bad… I gained 2 pounds this week. Honestly, I expected it especially after missing the meeting the week prior. The meetings are great for getting me on the right foot for the new week. If I lose, it keeps me motivated to continue doing what I’m doing. If I gain, it motivates me to work harder. So, I will own these 2 pounds that are now along for the ride on my butt or hips or wherever else they decided to attach themselves.

The ugly… With the 2pounds I have gained, it puts me at a total loss of only 6.6 pounds in the whole time I’ve been back at WW. The highest my loss has been was 12.2 pounds so I have gained half of that back. This is pretty disheartening but I have to remember that it’s just not easy to lose weight and life just gets in the way. The first time I did WW, it wasn’t “easy” but it was “easier” than this time. But my body is different this time, it’s been through the ringer, poked, prodded, and more. Not to mention I’m 5 years older now. It’s just not easy. But I’m not going to give up.

The good… I am not going to let this weight loss battle beat me. I am going to keep at it, do the best I can, and know that I am doing exactly that. It may not be easy, but it will not beat me.

The bad… After re-commiting myself to tracking again on Wednesday, I fell off the wagon yesterday and didn’t track a single bit. So, I am starting over again today to try for my #7daychip. I know I can do this. I’ll pick myself back up and start again. Today is day 1.

The ugly… I overate in a big way at dinner last night. Nobody’s fault but mine. I did it and I own it. Time to move on.

The good… On Wednesday, I committed to not having Starbucks until the weekend. I successfully met that challenge and rewarded myself with one this morning. It was super yummy and I enjoyed it. I tracked it, and all is right in the world.

The good… When I went to WW yesterday, Lorraine (our fearless leader) was so happy to see me and greeted me with a hug. She said she  had been worried about me all week. That made me feel good. It’s people like her who keep those meetings going and keep us coming back. She has been in the same place we have, fought the same battles, and is there to offer her support in any way she can. Thank you Lorraine.

The good… After the WW meeting, I had a great talk with Tammy, a WW friend. We chat at each meeting, and on Facebook. We both enjoy walking, and seem to have the same struggles with time, with our bodies cooperating, and just trying to get that scale to go down. She told me she was worried about me, that I was looking a little defeated and to not give up. Our talk reminded me that it is really good to get back to basics and just keep plugging along, doing the best we can. Thank you Tammy, you’re a doll.

I might have to make this a regular post… It’s a good way to get things off my chest, things I need to face and deal with. That’s the whole point of my blog. I already have tomorrow’s post in mine, so stay tuned!

I’m here, I promise

That blah feeling I had on my last post (a week ago today, thank you) has certainly taken it’s time skipping town. I haven’t walked at all. For the first time in forever, my weekly dailymile report had 0 miles. Major guilt trip when I got that email. I’ve been eating a lot and making poor choices. And to top it off, I did not go to WW last Friday because I had a busy day ahead for work. My time at work and not at the meeting was well worth it, getting everything done that I needed to before the long weekend, but I should have gone to another meeting. I did not. I can’t give you a good reason why because I don’t know.

So, it’s Tuesday afternoon and I have been home since 1pm. Internet was down and I had a big quote to get out for work. That requires internet. So I came home. I got the quote done as well as other things. Now would be the perfect time to go and walk, but I’m not. Instead I am roasting some zucchini because it sounded good. A little olive oil drizzle, some minced garlic, and italian seasoning. I’ve never made it this way and I had a whole pack of zucchini sitting in the fridge, just waiting to be used.

This morning I had a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks. Today was the first they had it and man it was good. I get mine with soy milk, it’s that much creamier. I enjoyed every last drop of it. The problem is, this could VERY easily snowball into me wanting one every day. My waist AND my checkbook cannot afford that. So, I am putting the brakes on Starbucks starting now. I’ll have to take an all or nothing approach with it at first and break this habit I’ve gotten back into over over the last couple of weeks. I’m sorry Starbucks, I’m not saying goodbye forever, just for a little bit. Perhaps you’ll see me on the weekend. It’s not you, it’s me. Promise.

As for my walking, or lack thereof, I have to make a change. I have missed walking, but have also enjoyed the lack of pain in my foot. So, as soon as I can, I am buying a pair of inserts for my shoes as suggested by my brother. We’ll give that a shot. I am also going to switch things up and go back to walking in the morning – STARTING TOMORROW. To be able to get it done first thing, at least for the next few weeks, will be nice. I have some guilt about neglecting other things around the house by walking in the afternoon when I get home so the mornings will be a good choice for now.

The wonderful thing is, I have now told the world my plans so now I have to do it. Should anyone feel the urge to check up on me and make sure I’m actually doing these things, I welcome the accountability. You know where and how to find me.

Wait, what?

Good grief, Charlie Brown. Has it really been over a week, almost 2 actually, since I last updated my blog? I’ve meant to update it several times but for some reason I have not. Chalk it off to the funkiness I have been in, I guess.

My last post was about evil bloated woman where I gained 3.4 pounds. &^%#%@ Yea, 3.4 lbs.. Mind you, no one forced the food down my throat or twisted my arm to eat whatever bad foods I ate that I probably should not have. But when evil bloated woman is here, I have NO self control. NONE. Really, I don’t.

Moving past the 3.4 lb. gain, the next day I walked 13 miles with my fabulous sister-in-law. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy those walks? The high that I feel when done with that kind of walk should keep me going for a great start to the week leading up to the next weigh-in. But not last week. I didn’t walk the Sunday after. And not that Monday. I did do a strength training work out (which, by the way, I felt for days). On Tuesday I walked 3.11 miles. I wanted to run, but my legs could not would not do it. Regardless, I walked it and got it done. On Wednesday, I did nothing. Nada. Same on Thursday. Thursday is normally a no workout day anyhow, but the guilt was there since I skipped the day before. When I walked into WW on Friday, I had no idea what the scale would say. Whatever it said, though, I would have to own it. I am the one who decided to not workout when I could have, or to eat whatever it was I should not have. Amazingly, I was down 1 pound. Honestly, I think the pound I lost was the fact that evil bloated woman was finally gone, at least until she rears her ugly head again in a few weeks.

That 1.0 lb. loss gave me a little jump start,. I was happy. I was even happier when my sister-in-law and I walked 14 miles on Saturday. That is nothing to sneeze at, my friends. It was a HARD walk this week. It was hot and humid and when we were done, my feet (especially my right foot) was screaming at me. My SIL had to stop at mile 12 due to blisters on her feet. It was brutal. But we gave it our best. I burned ALOT of calories, 1239 calories to be exact. Again, this should have kept me going into this week.

Where did this funk come from? Why I am so blah this past week and not really caring about what food choices I make? It’s irritating, and to be quite honest, scary. I don’t want to give up, I don’t want to quit, but I feel like something else is controlling me.

I got home yesterday and should have walked. It was raining so I didn’t. I should have gone on the treadmill, but I didn’t. I got home today, no rain, a little bit of a breeze – I should have walked. But I didn’t. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME??

Someone needs to give me a virtual slap or something. I don’t know what needs to happen, but I have got to snap out of this funkiness. I don’t want to be tired and blah and just whatever. I don’t. I want to be that girl who comes home, changes quickly, and runs out the front door and knocks out 3.11 miles as quickly as I can. I want to walk back in the house, dripping with sweat, and post what I did, and enjoy the rest of my evening knowing I busted my butt.

If anyone can help me find that girl that does those things, I’ll be eternally grateful. I’m really not sure where she is this week. I need her.

Give and Take

This past week marked 16 weeks back at WW for me. I had a gain, as expected, after the long holiday weekend of the 4th and a busy week. I need to work on being more prepared for the busy weeks so I stop using that as an excuse handle them better.

Let’s start with my stats:
Current weight:  155.6
Total  lost: 10.2
This loss is down from 12.2 lbs. lost back on 06/03/11

Having been back at WW for 16 weeks now, I have been reminded how so much of it is give and take. Part of WW is learning how to handle different situations and to make wise decisions when it comes to eating. I do my best to always have fruit in the fridge, LOTS of water, and dinner is my biggest protein meal of the day. I also don’t eat after 8:30 pm. 

Where I struggle is lunch during the week. My stress level has a tendency to dictate how good or bad I will be for lunch. The smoother my day is going, the better I’m going to be. If it is a bad day, all good intentions go out the window. Even if I started out the day by packing a lunch and calculating my points for the day, it doesn’t matter at that point.

This is where that give and take comes in. If I give 110% and do everything I can – eat right, drinnk plenty of water, and get in plenty of activity – I will more than likely see results when I weigh-in. If I don’t do all those things, it will also be reflected on the scale.

I am in control of my destiny on that scale. How hard do I want to work each week to make it happen? Do I want to kill myself to lose the weight as soon as possible? NO. Slow and steady whens the race… Do I want to do my best when I can yet still enjoy life and eating out and family meals, etc…. YES.

Would I like to be a little farther in my weight loss journey at this 16 week mark? YES. Maybe at my 10%…. Am I going to stress over it? NO. I made choices throughout these 16 weeks and this is where I am so far. Being down 10.2 lbs. is nothing to sneeze at. And that is going to keep me going.

A couple goals I am setting for myself this week:
– Keep up the 64 oz. of water a day. A couple days this week I did not meet that goal. I am also going to get back to posting it on FB when I reach my goal each day – helps to keep me accountable.
– Do my best to make time to walk at least 4 days this week, despite how busy I am.

What are some of your goals for the week?

1st week on WW!

My first week on WW was really good. Going back felt right at the time and I still agree 100%. The minute I left the meeting, I was already planning what I would keep around to snack on, have for meals, etc… It’s funny how lack of structure caused me to forget all the wonderful foods and recipes I enjoyed while on WW. It was just easier to eat whatever was handy, quick, and easy. Ultimately, those choices packed on the pounds.

I weighed in Friday morning and was so happy when I saw I lost 3.6 pounds. The best thing, I didn’t feel deprived once all week. And ironically, when we went out to dinner Friday night, I enjoyed a great meal (steak, shrimp, salad, rice pilaf) and had no guilt. I chose not to have Cold Stone because it felt good to make that choice. That was a hard one, but I am so glad I didn’t have one. It’s all about choices.

I am making my garden vegetable soup for the week now, it smells so good cooking. I am looking forward to another good week. Remember how I was afraid I’d have to get on the scale if I joined WW? Well now I can’t wait to get on the scale. It’s a great feeling to take good care of myself, and a long time coming.